Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
