There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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