There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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