last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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