he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
