Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
