names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
