Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
