His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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