I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Never underestimate the power of titties
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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