don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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