is your mom at the bar?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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