I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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