when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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