so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
