He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
