Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize