no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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