Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
3pm strippers are depressing
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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