it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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