am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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