So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
