Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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