yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
