Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
