I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize