wrigley field is MILF paradise
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
