im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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