we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need to calm my uterus...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
