I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
