Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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