Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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