i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
