Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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