I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You ate ashes out of my bong
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
