So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
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Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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