Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Congratulations! We have a period
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