The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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