Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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