My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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