I could have mohawked her pubes.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize