Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
