When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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