dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
