so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
