hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
