im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
