Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
