Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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