my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
