AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize