that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Couch. On fire.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize