I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
