Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
