This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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