he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
