Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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