New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
