I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
