Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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