i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
