I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
