am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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