Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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