I'm jealous of your bromance
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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